From the Steps of Anew

Yesterday morning, I woke up in my new apartment still clutching the base of the flag I had stuck in this new world I’ve claimed for me own. I shall call this world, Anew.

After a strenuous weekend of heavy lifting, body bruising and literally running around like a chicken with my head cut off, I am relatively settled into my new place with only a handful of boxes left to unpack. There are still big things to move into storage when the time comes, but for now, I can settle into my new situation and strategize how to tackle that stuff later.

I’ve discovered a number of things over the weekend. For example:

1. Dogs do not like to move.
2. Bones are incredibly resilient, my calcium must not be so bad as all that.
3. Bruises are pretty cool battle scars (come on, man, I’m internally bleeding, but still alive.)
4. A big change can both inspire and drive a person to do amazing things.
5. I am in desperate need of a new office chair.
6. A person is only as free as:
a. she allows herself to be
b. her situation allows her to be

Of course there were dozens of little revelations, but the above few were the most pressing. Which, in reflection seems a little odd. There were no incredible revelations. While I definitely woke up in awe of the steps I have taken to grab my situation by the horns and show it who was boss, for the most part there is just this incredible sense of calm coupled with a drive to embrace the woman I have always been, but felt too suppressed to embody on a regular basis.

I won’t lie. There were moments last week that I began to doubt my sanity and my decision. Was I really ready to run out into the world and take charge of my life? What if I wasn’t strong enough (HA!)… what if I wasn’t able (yeah right)…what if my sense of self-amazingness was just the result of an overblown ego and I really wasn’t all that amazing (pfft…)… Well, the funny thing about that is in the face of doubt I listened. I opened myself up to the universe and listened to what it had to say. And that very same day, I sold my short story to a publisher. To me, that was a total, “Hello, this is the universe calling, I have a message for Jenny…” moment.

I answered the call. And I’m going to keep answering the phone whenever the universe calls. Because that’s what you have to do. Otherwise you spend what little time you have here in your body/life doubting your purpose, your reason, your drive… yourself, which seems a silly thing to do now that I’m on the steps of this new life looking back at what I’ve left behind.

Over the next week I will be unveiling some awesome details about the plans I have. I hope to have the promised short story podcasted before the end of this week. I also start working on a new novel tomorrow, and can’t wait to get writing, as it’s going to be awesome. I am working on edits on my fantasy/adventure novel that I hope to begin podcasting this summer. Stay tuned for details. I’m very excited, and it is literally one of my proudest works. I absolutely cannot wait to share it with you.

And now, I leave you with a reflective poem I wrote just two days before I started moving. It’s called “Cancer.” I think it encompasses how I felt about the stagnation in my life rather well.

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